One of my most popular posts is I Have No Passion. It seems like that title, or a variety of it, is very often Googled. It makes me sad and reassured. Sad becuase that means that more (many more) people feel like me, reassured because I know I’m not alone.
It’s been over two years since I wrote that post and since then it has pretty much subscribed to the title of my most popular post. For a while I’ve been thinking that it’s time for an update, and there’s no time like the present, is there?
My life has changed pretty drastically since that post was written. Then I was newly graduated, trying to find a job. I lived in a flat with Boyfriend and, I must admit, it was a down period in my life. Being unemployed made me feel useless and I can see that it’s easy to go into a downward spiral when unemployed.
I got a job in the autumn of 2007, I’ve been working here for almost two years. I live in house with Boyfriend (yes, the same one). But still, I haven’t found my passion.
I hinted at my situation last week, wrote that I would not go further into the subject then. But I still felt that I wanted to update this post, and I can’t do that without exploring some of those subjects further.
I’m still holding the same job as I did two years ago. It’s a good job, I like the people, for most part, and I like that I work for a company that invests in me; I’ve learnt so much here. However, there’s a feeling I’ve been having for quite a while and last week I discussed it with my boss; there isn’t room for much more advancement for me within our sub-company. I can still keep my job, but my boss wasn’t sure he wanted me to do that. He could sense that I wasn’t passionate about this job and that I’ve done what I can with it, that I could not reach my full potential if I kept it. Preferably he wanted me to move on within the company so that I can use what I’ve learnt here for the good of the entire company. Plus I would feel guilty letting them spend a lot of money educating me and then just leave (plus I have to work off some advance vacation I took last year).
So now it’s not just a matter of having no passion in my free time, it’s about work as well. I think I can keep this job as long as I please, knowing that others, and myself, think I’m stagnating. My job was a great first job, but, like I said, I think I’ve done all I can with it; I’m ready to move on and I’m glad I’d have my boss’ blessing if I stay within our company.
I would like to work more in reaching out to people, to be honest I don’t really know the function of the sub-company I work for now. Communications, lobbying, information, those are the types of work I could see myself in at the moment. Now I just need that they’re hiring and are willing to accept someone with “just” a scientific degree (ie. not in communications or journalism).
As for my personal life, still no passion there either. Sometimes I find it sad, when others talk about their passions. But right now I have so many other projects going on, that I feel so what if I don’t have that specific passion? I have plenty of other fun stuff going on and I’m still looking.
So, different place in life, still confused. But, since I know more, I’m now confused at a higher level.